Everyone has likely heard the term co-dependence. But what does it really mean? When you get into a relationship, chances are you depend on your partner for certain things. This is to be expected and it’s part of the trust you build. However, you don’t want to lose your independence completely.

What Is Co-Dependence?

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that’s usually passed down from other family members. It is often described as losing yourself in your relationship. If you’re co-dependent you’d likely cover up the actions of others for relief in the short term, even if it’s a bad move in the long term.

Co-dependent people often don’t listen to their true selves and end up covering up negative emotions with destructive actions. They are more likely to develop problems with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, and more.

Are You Co-Dependent?

You might wonder if you just have a co-dependent tendency every once in awhile, or if you’re completely co-dependent all the time. In order to figure out whether you’re co-dependent or not, it might help to ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you find it hard to adapt to change?
• Are you worried about the opinions of others including close family members?
• Do you tend to avoid an argument at all costs?
• Do you make excuses for loved ones?
• Do you feel lonely or ignored when your loved ones spend time with others?
• Do you find it hard to express yourself?
• Do you have trouble telling others “no”?
• Do you often feel ashamed about your inner feelings?

While your answer can be yes to one or a few of these questions without being co-dependent, you should now have a better idea about how a co-dependent person feels. Deep down you likely know whether or not you have a true problem with co-dependence. If you do, it’s in your best interest to seek out professional help. There are counselors available that are specially trained in the area of co-dependency.

How Co-Dependence Affects Your Life

Co-dependence can affect your life greatly and affect your partner and others around you. Of course the affects will be of varying degrees.

Let’s say your partner battles a common, yet debilitating problem such as alcoholism. When they have a slip up, your co-dependent nature may wish to just cover up the slip up and just hope it’s a one-time deal. You’d make decisions like lying to others about whether or not it happened, helping your partner sober up quickly, or calling into work for your partner and claiming that they’re just sick.

You can now see how this decision just makes things “better” in the short run. It’s the easy way out and your partner won’t have to face anything difficult. They’ll be happier in the moment because you’re not causing them any immediate stress.

However, in the long run the problem is just going to continue and snowball. While it may not be the popular decision, you’ll need to learn how to stand up to your partner and strive for what you believe is right deep down.

Become More Independent

There are ways you can learn to be more independent. In the above example, you’ll know that you need to have the difficult conversations with your partner. You need to help them decide that they need to get over their problem once and for all.

You then need to decide that you’re going to concentrate on yourself. You need to know that your relationship with your partner is not all about them and their own problems. It’s about you, too.

Take the time to think about your long-term goals and what makes you happy. Remember that you must be able to stand on your own two-feet without shame, guilt, fear, or worry!

Technorati tags: business, work life balance

For many people, staying within a budget can be challenging. If keeping to your budget seems like an insurmountable task, you’ll be happy to know that there are ways to stretch your budget and still enjoy a quality lifestyle.

Some budgets may work well with your lifestyle, while others may not. If you find that one technique is difficult, all is not lost! Other techniques may be a better fit, which can then lead to the financial freedom you desire.

Consider the following tips for staying within your budget:

1. Put Your Credit Cards Away. You can even freeze your cards in water if it’ll deter you from using them! It’s so easy to forget the true costs of the things you buy when you just swipe your card. Don’t feel guilty about falling for this trick; the easiest way to combat it is to keep your cards hidden away. Only bring them out when they’re truly needed.

2. Make Envelopes. Grab a stack of envelopes, mark each one with a designated expense, and put in your allotted allowance for each expense. It’s easy to stay on track when the money for your bills is pre-counted and away from reach.

3. Use Cash. It’ll help you see the true value of what you’re spending if you only use cash. If you don’t like handling money, you could opt for using your debit card. Just remember to stay on top of your balance so you don’t overdraw your account.

4. Cut Back. Believe it or not, there are usually ways you can cut back without even feeling much of a difference.

• Take some time out of your weekend to call up the cable company, the phone company, or your cell phone company. Discuss different lower cost plans. Maybe you don’t use all of your cell phone minutes each month or perhaps you can live without HBO.

5. Grocery Shopping. There are certain luxury items that some people opt to place in their budgets, while others won’t. However, a grocery bill is something that everyone shares. Analyze how much you spend each week at the grocery store and see if you can bring down the average amount.

• Coupon clipping and warehouse shopping are great places to start.

6. Budget for a Splurge Item. Treat yourself to something special every once in awhile while still staying in your budget. While you may not be able to afford it too often, you can save up some money for a special treat for yourself.

• It may be something you’ve been meaning to get or maybe you just want some money to hit up the town or go to a movie. The point is, if you’ve budgeted for this it won’t be a shock when you balance the books later.

7. Homemade Gifts. There are always many holidays throughout the year where you’re expected to deliver gifts for your loved ones. If you’re tight with cash, don’t forget about homemade gifts. These gifts are most often considered more thoughtful than anything you could have purchased.

• For example, make a scrapbook or photo album. While there’s some cost involved, the finished product will be priceless – yet far less than the latest gadget.

Keep Tweaking

If you’re still having trouble balancing the budget, it’s important to keep trying new things until you have a system that makes you feel comfortable. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. A financial planner or financial counselor can give you even more valuable ideas.

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Now more than ever, it’s important to secure your financial future. If the chips are ever down, you’ll at least have a plan to turn to for help.

It’s true that you should put your whole heart in your main source of income. When you work hard enough with a drive to succeed, nothing will keep you away from that success. However, unexpected circumstances come into play every so often, so you may need to divert to Plan B temporarily.

Here are some ideas for building a rock-solid Plan B:

1. Develop Multiple Streams of Income. When your main stream of income is sufficient to sustain your family, you may be tempted to rely on that income alone. However, it’s always a good idea to insulate and supplement that income. You may think you don’t absolutely need the money, but you can always save for future unexpected expenses.

• Look for other opportunities for side jobs in your field
• Turn a hobby into a money maker
• Consider wise investments to grow money faster

2. Add to Your Savings. You’ll need to realize that even small contributions will add up to something big before you know it. Shop around for a high yield savings account. Tell yourself that you’ll add a fixed amount to the fund each month. Have an automatic withdrawal every month even if you can only afford $10 or $25 at a time. Over the long run this really adds up!

3. Develop Your Skills. Always be on the look out for opportunities to improve your current skill set, or to develop completely new skills. This will give you back up career opportunities. If you pigeon hole yourself into one set career, you’ll be scrambling if something unexpected happens. While it’ll still be a bummer if Plan A falls through, it’ll feel so much better when you can launch into Plan B without panicking.

4. Make Contacts and Establish Good Relationships. You’ve probably heard the saying: “Don’t burn your bridges.” You truly never know when you might want to walk a certain path, so don’t close any doors hastily. Also, remain open and make contacts wherever you can. You might just be hanging out at the gym after work, but you never know what kind of friendship you can drum up, and how that person may be able to help you out in the future.

5. Write Out Your Plans. It’s vital to maintain a certain amount of organization in your plans. When establishing your life’s Plan A and Plan B, it’ll really help to write everything down. Have separate lists for your short term and long term financial goals. Cross off goals as you meet them. This way you’ve got a written reminder of your progress. If Plan B comes into play, you’ll have written instructions and you won’t have to worry.

Making Wise Choices

When it comes down to deciding what you should do with your money, remember to always invest in some sure bets. You don’t want to gamble with your money expecting greater gains. Your best bet is to find a middle ground. Decide on a certain amount of money that automatically goes into a savings account and can’t be touched.

When you have a nest egg for unexpected life events, it gives you time to execute your Plan B. If you’re lucky enough to have extra cash coming in, you can then decide to be riskier with your financial decisions. As long as you know you have enough money coming in, it may be worth your time and investment.

Technorati tags: finances, investment, work life balance, money matters

Achieving your goals is hardly ever an easy journey. If it were easy, we’d all already be there. One of the keys to success is, without a doubt, perseverance. With improved perseverance you’ll have that extra push from within to try, try again.

Humans have the tendency to want to control everything. Since there are always situations that can’t be controlled, suffering occurs. Unfortunately, this suffering can’t be escaped. Your goal should never be to avoid mistakes at all costs and seek control. Your goal should be to strengthen your perseverance by effectively dealing with the situation when things go awry.

Keep these tips in mind as you strengthen your perseverance:

1. Never Give Up. When you have an ultimate goal, you owe it to yourself to completely follow through. There are going to be plenty of bumps in the road. Don’t let any of these bumps bring you down. Always be seeking new ways of approaching problems.

2. Seek Out the Positive. When things have become overwhelmingly negative for you, seek out positive things in your life. You might want to surround yourself with loved ones or watch positive movies. You definitely want to seek out situations that’ll promote your optimism and enthusiasm.

3. Take Action and Responsibility. Do whatever you can to inspire yourself to take bold actions toward your goal. Fight the urge to procrastinate or settle for less. Thinking about your goals is simply not enough; you need to start somewhere in order to get yourself there. You can’t wait for some sign or higher power to get you to where you want to go, you must be willing to take action!

4. Get Help When Needed. Be wise enough to know when a situation warrants help from others. You don’t need to take every single thing into your own hands. Instead, choose to follow advice from the people you trust or the experts in your chosen field. Flat out ask them how they’ve maintained the drive to keep going.

5. Know Your True Self. Knowing yourself and having organized thoughts can improve your perseverance. When you know where you’re going and the steps you need to take to get there, that’s half the battle. That’s why you need to take the proper amount of time for self-reflection. Know the true ins and outs of what you want and exactly why you want it.

6. Stop Bad Habits. Do everything in your power to put a stop to bad habits. If there are certain behaviors you’ve identified that are keeping you from achieving your goals, you need to get rid of them. This could be simply negative thinking or you might be fighting procrastination. When you concentrate on each bad habit individually, you’ll be better able to deal with the problems that might exist.

7. Concentrate on Stress Management. Stress management and your level of perseverance are definitely related. When stress overwhelms you, it clouds your current thinking and brings on negativity. Your perseverance can’t flourish in a negative environment. You must first conquer any problems you have with stress so you’ll be better able to reach your goals.

Step By Step

Perseverance is likely already a part of your life. You just need to bring it out and strengthen its existence. It all boils down to the power of thought. When you think you can, you will. When you think you can’t, you won’t.

Technorati tags: business productivity, self improvement, work life balance, self-improvement

We can often overreact to situations without even knowing it. How does this happen? Well, we allow our emotions to take over.

Once you gain control over your emotions you’ll be able to choose better reactions, which leads to better solutions.

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect. Everyone overreacts from time to time. It’s when your overreactions become the norm that you should seek a better way.

Consider the following action strategies to help you stop overreacting:

1. The art of not reacting. In order to stop overreacting, you can try using the art of not reacting. This means that when you’re presented with a certain situation, your goal will be to not react at all. Instead, you’ll take the time to think about the situation and then formulate your action.

2. Let out your emotions. Let yourself feel your emotions as they come to you and find positive ways to express them. When you let your emotions build up, they become stronger inside of you. It’s difficult to stop yourself from overreacting when you’re full of pent up emotion.

3. Take a time out. If you tend to overreact with anger, it’s vital to allow yourself some cool down time. If you feel emotions building inside you, instead of bursting out, go somewhere where you know you can be alone. Cooling down will help you to react with a clear head.

4. Write it down. Instead of reacting to a situation at all, go write it down. Writing it down is another way of giving yourself time to think over the situation. Later on, once you read what you wrote, you may be able to see whether your reaction was an overreaction or not.

5. Practice relaxation techniques. When you adopt relaxation techniques, you’ll find that you’re automatically more in control of your emotions. Try deep breathing or attend a yoga or meditation class. Relaxation will stop your stress and you’ll be less likely to lash out with any negative emotion.

6. Avoid judging. Make it a point to stop judging yourself and others. Judgments can give you strong opinions that may be unwarranted, which can lead you to overreactions. In the same vein, when you judge yourself for overreacting, you aren’t allowing yourself to make mistakes, which is a self-defeating attitude.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

If you find that you’re overreacting to all of life’s situations, it’s time to start with the small things. Ask yourself why you’re reacting to small situations with such negative passion.

There could be an underlying issue you need to deal with first. Are you overly stressed? Is your mind focused on something else? Answer these questions and solve these problems first. Just take it one thing at a time.

Change For The Better

Once you’ve discovered a method that works well for you, incorporate that change into your life permanently.

It’s important to expect that you will make mistakes along the way – but that’s okay! You may still overreact from time to time, but we are only human and it happens. Don’t let mistakes discourage you from jumping right back into the methods that work for you.

If you’re having trouble changing, remember to take small steps. It’s quite difficult to become a different person overnight. Try to bring an overall awareness to your life so you no longer feel the pull to overreact. Soon enough, you’ll regain control over your emotions!

Technorati tags: book summaries, business books, business productivity, self improvement, work life balance, self-improvement

The only way to make sure things get done right is to do it yourself, right? Well, there comes a time when you can only do so much in one day.

Learning to delegate allows you to grow as a person. When you delegate effectively, you can improve your life all around because you’re no longer a one-man band that’s trying to entertain the world on your own!

Delegating At Work

You might find it tough to delegate at work, especially if you feel like no one can get the job done as well as you. Rest assured, though, that others can do a quality job, but only if you give them the opportunity. They may not do it in exactly the same way as you would have, and that’s okay! At some point you need to let go of perfection and allow others to help.

If you have staff available at work, or the ability to outsource work to other companies and individuals, then you have the makings of a great team that can help you grow and succeed.

Consider delegating these tasks:

• Anything that involves data entry.
• Repetitive tasks such as photo copying or filing.
• Fact finding missions and data collection.
• Writing.
• Design work.

It’s up to you to decide which functions can be fulfilled by someone else. Once you’ve chosen a person capable of the task, it’s time to consider some detailed plans.

Always ensure that your instructions are clear. Provide details and examples of the end result that you expect and don’t focus so much on the steps they need to use in order to get there. If it’s technical work, you can create short video tutorials using free software called Jing, or provide templates and checklists.

If needed, you can check up on the people doing your tasks. Ask how things are going or tell them that you expect progress reports every day or week. This will help you to maintain a handle on whether or not things are on track.

In the end, you must maintain trust that everything will turn out right. While everything may not be exactly as you expected, delegation can still save you lots of time, stress, and headaches.

Delegating At Home

You can apply your delegation skills to your home life as well. You certainly don’t need to come off as a dictator, but you can have family meetings in order to get a better idea about everyone’s expectations.

Write out a list of all the home tasks that need to be completed. Decide a fair distribution of who will do what and maintain some clear deadlines.

Don’t forget that your children can complete some of the simpler tasks as a part of a chore schedule. Consider some type of reward, especially if you expect the little ones to be active participants. It’s a great motivator to reward each other every so often. If everyone has done a great job, consider a family dinner out to relax and let loose.

Evaluate The Results

Whether you’re involved with a plan for work or home delegation, it’s important to evaluate the results. If you’re especially upset about how something has turned out, think about what you can do differently next time in order for things to go according to plan.

Remember to maintain trust and awareness about what is going on around you. Delegation can be a full time job in itself, but when done right it can provide an improved lifestyle for you and everyone around you.

Technorati tags: human resources, time management, business productivity, self improvement, time management, efficiency

How to Strengthen Your Money Management Skills

It’s always a good idea to tweak and reevaluate your money management skills. The world of money can be a huge task to manage which can get overwhelming at times. However, with clear goals and careful calculations, you can adopt a manageable system that works well for you.

Follow these tips to strengthen your money management skills:

1. Tweak your tracking system. You probably already track your spending to some degree, but it would be helpful to see what it’s like when you track all of your spending. Try doing this for at least a week. When you see all of your expenses written out, you’ll be able to clearly see what’s necessary and what’s not. You can then decide to spend your money differently based on your current spending habits.

2. Consider your savings. 401Ks and other tax-advantaged retirement plans are a good option for saving money long-term. On the other side, it’s important to have money in a regular savings account that you can access regularly for surprise expenses, like car or home repairs.

3. Determine your needs and wants. If cutting back drastically is a necessity to you at this time, look at your monthly expenses in detail. Make a two-column list and divide your expenses into needs and wants, then eliminate as many items from the “wants” category.

4. Set realistic goals. It’s important to be realistic when setting out new money management goals for yourself. You shouldn’t do anything too drastic too quickly. It’s always best to take on changes in stages and ease into new situations. You’ll avoid shock this way.

5. Give yourself an allowance. If you tell yourself you can’t spend any money, you’ll get frustrated and you’ll be more likely to revert back to old habits. Instead, give yourself a monthly allowance. Tell yourself that you can spend $50 to $100 each month on the things you enjoy. You’ll have some fun and save money at the same time.

When You Want To Change

The trick to strengthening your money management skills lies in your drive to change. People usually run into trouble when they want to save money but are unwilling to live a different lifestyle.

Realize that you can shift your lifestyle without it being a burden. When you start slow and make small changes, you allow yourself the time and opportunity to create positive new habits.

For example, you can start with your grocery bill. Decide if there are certain expensive foods that you can skip. Tell yourself that you can treat yourself to them whenever they go on sale. This way you’ll still indulge yourself every now and then, but you’ll be saving money.

Long Term Goals

It’s always a good idea to keep your eyes on your long-term goals. Where do you want to be next year, in 5 years, and in 10 years? Make an attainable action plan with your finances that will get you there.

When you keep your goals in mind, you maintain a drive that also enables you to enjoy the journey. These strategies will help you bolster your money management skills so you can soon enjoy your life without the financial stress!

Technorati tags: finances, business books, business productivity, self improvement, money matters , prosperity

Even if you’ve landed your dream job, it’s possible to fall into a pattern where you find your work far from enjoyable.

When you’re dissatisfied with your work, it can be a huge chore to get up in the morning and you may even feel hopeless.

However, the good news is that you can change certain aspects of how you approach your work in order to find satisfaction in the job you’ve already got.

Follow these tips to increase your satisfaction at work:

1. Keep open dialogues. It’s truly important to keep open dialogues with your colleagues and superiors. Voice your concerns calmly, without sounding blunt and unappreciative. If no one knows that you’re dissatisfied, nothing will ever be done to fix the problem!

2. Reward yourself. You can increase your own personal satisfaction by deciding on certain rewards that you can give yourself once you’ve completed a task successfully. For example, if you’ve worked hard all week, allow yourself a fun Friday night. Don’t wait for anyone else to reward you!

3. Handling stress. Start looking at how you handle stress. Unfortunately, there’s a certain amount of stress associated with every career. Are you actively searching for ways to vent your stress or are you keeping it bottled up inside? Make sure you have proper releases for work stress as well as home stress.

4. Avoid getting stuck in a rut. It’s difficult when you feel like you aren’t making steps in the right direction. You might feel like everyday is the same and that you aren’t getting to explore your full potential. Think about what your goals are at your current job and ask yourself what actions you’re taking in order to get there. Reformulate your action plan if necessary, and then take steps to move you forward again toward your goals.

5. Think positive thoughts. Your life is what you make of it. When you adopt a positive mindset, things will more often go your way. When you think negatively, of course your job will continue to be unsatisfying! Remain optimistic and you’ll find the drive needed to keep working toward positive goals.

6. Make a change. If you find that you’re truly in the wrong line of work, it’s time to plan out a change for the better. As a last resort, if you truly feel that there’s nothing you can do to improve your current situation, then make an attainable plan for change. You may want the same position at another company, or an entire career change all together, whatever it is, find out what you need to do, and then do it!

Right Mindset And Action

In the end, as long as you strive for a positive mindset and take action toward your goals, good things will happen for you. When people are stuck, they tend to freeze and feel helpless. If this happens, it can turn into a vicious cycle that you might believe is unbreakable. But it isn’t!

Take charge of your thoughts to break the negativity and take small steps each day toward a better life. Making a change overnight is overwhelming, but when you take small steps, change happens easily. Before you know it, you’ll be at least a little more satisfied and fulfilled at work.

Technorati tags: book summaries, business books, business productivity, self improvement, Human Resource, Productivity

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